update

well, it's been quite a while since i've posted on here.
not that i particularly care, nor do i think any of you actually care.
doubt any of you even read this shit. but i think it's time that i update it with what's going on.

adam and kay finally let me meet this bell boy dude at the hotel in paris that they always go to
and well, i brought him home with me, we got him a job, and now we're datin.
he's quite amazin, and he treats me really well.
though i think that's partly because of the fear that adam has instilled into the poor dude.
think phillippe knows that adam will kill him if he hurts me.

the pub is fine, me and the boy are both workin there cause adam kinda demanded it.
things got a bit rocky a few weeks back, but everythin seems to be alright now
sometimes it still a bit up and down, but no one's run away or had anythin drastically happen to them.
and no one's ended up in the hospital again. so it's all good.
other than that there really isn't much to say
unless you want me to discuss my sex life with the bell boy. mmm

not meant to be

It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you
Wanted from me, and knowing
If I give that to ya
I might just disappear.

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

Oh, it's like

One step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind,

Oh, it's like

Trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me and I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe that's there's
No way out for you and me
And it seems to be,
The story of our life

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind, oh

It's like trying to turn around on a
One way street. I can't give
You what you want and it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
That maybe we're not meant to be

There's still time to turn this around
Should we be building this up
Instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late.

It's like one step forward
And two steps back,
No matter what I do
You're always mad
And I, can't change your mind, oh

It's like tryin to turn around
On a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me and I,
I finally see,
Baby that we're not meant to be

It's like one step forward,
And two steps back,
No matter what I do
You're always mad,
And I, Baby I'm sorry to see,
Maybe that we're not meant to be

Useless

I'm feeling completely useless
and there is nothing that anyone can really do.
i know that there are people that love me, and that they care about me.
but that doesn't mean that it makes me feel any better about anything.



lately, it seems like everyone forgets about me until i get on twitter.
then, even when i'm on there, no one listens to anything i've got to say
and i just get ignored. so why should i bother keep putting myself through that?
i probably shouldn't.



we'll see.

why

Why the actual fuck does everyone ignore me
then when adam gets pissed off because you all fucking ignored me
you finally fucking say something?


mhm


thanks all for not listening to me and waiting until he gets pissy.

*sigh*

i'm right back to where i was when i got home yesterday.

great

thank you

Thanks to a very very very select few of you.

i'm actually feeling like i'm worth something again.

i'm not 100% better, but i'm about 80% of the way there.

thank you, you know who you are.

phase 2

yup. this comes in stages.

now i'm extremely pissed off.

i got up to go outside and smoke a blunt, let my dog out and relax.

well. i came inside more pissed off than when i went out. so i decided to start doing the dishes. well, i was getting aggitated and i threw a dish, and it shattered. obviously i cut my hand picking up all the glass.

fuck this shit